On a cold Colorado evening in January of 2020, my then 15-year-old son heard a loud crack inside his right foot during soccer practice. He immediately hobbled off the field in obvious pain. Following days of x-rays and MRIs, Ty was diagnosed with a Freiberg Infraction. The initial two doctors told us that Ty would never play soccer again. We finally found an orthopedic surgeon who told us that he was confident that our son could play again after undergoing a unique surgical procedure. The rehab took months and when he came back to practice in the fall of that year, he struggled to get back into condition. Just weeks into the season, the MLS Next director cut Ty from the team. Obviously, this was devastating for Ty given how hard he had worked to get back on the pitch. Instead of hanging his head, Ty worked hard to regain his form, and to positively impact his new ECNL team.

As parents we often hear the phrase “don’t relive your youth through your children”. While I understand the reasoning behind the statement, it doesn’t accurately capture the altruistic motives of many mothers and fathers. Most of us involve ourselves in our children’s lives to help them avoid the obvious pitfalls associated with growing up. There are so many precarious situations in life that could put someone on an unfortunate path. If an experienced adult has encountered the potential predicament, we owe it to our children to offer an informed opinion. A core tenet of parenting is to help our kids successfully navigate life’s vicissitudes. This doesn’t mean that we ensure they avoid failing as we want them to create both resilience as well as grit. It does mean that the perspective of a seasoned, loving parent is valuable to a child’s growth.  

Recently, I watched a video of Chris Cuomo and Gary “Vee’ Vaynerchuk talking about youth sports and the harm these activities create for families. They go on and on about people that “sacrifice weekend, money and vacations… and the kids never play in college, never go pro…but they’ve spent all this time on them.” Gary jumps in with his Freudian analysis, stating that “too many parents use their children for their own self-esteem”. This viewpoint is asinine, ignorant, and myopic. For most parents, we encourage our children to participate in youth sports for a variety of logical reasons. These motives include health, competitiveness, determination, toughness, as well as comradeship. Children who participate in youth sports learn to be punctual as well as how to manage their time effectively. They are forced to absorb both adulation as well as frequent criticism. Finally, they learn early to establish goals and to work vigorously towards their personal as well as team objectives.

Both of my sons’ soccer journeys began at a very early age. They both have played the sport for many years because of their love for the game, and their thirst for competitiveness. They continue to endure regular emotional swings that require their steadiness during these highly intense, uncomfortable situations. They must contend with a cutthroat environment where fairness is not part of the curriculum. Additionally, they must prioritize what is most important in their lives. This requirement manifests in putting scholastic obligations, work, and training ahead of other responsibilities.

Since they began competitive sports, Ty and Jesse have learned to cope with adult obligations as well as digest constant pressure at an early age. My wife and I are confident that these qualities will pay dividends when they formally become business professionals. Lastly, for many people, the fear of failure can be debilitating. Competitive sports force all who participate to confront and struggle with the difficulties associated with failing. Athletes learn to quickly move on from past transgressions which lets them more quickly overcome future obstacles.

Ultimately, youth sports are not about making it to college or professional ranks. That outcome is a byproduct of talent, hard work, discipline, and a bit of luck. For most kids, sports are about instilling valuable life skills, building character, and most importantly, having fun along the way.