Category Archives: Family

Family

Learn From This Mistake

As parents, we want our children to successfully navigate life’s vicissitudes. Throughout our lives, we faced many challenges that could have been avoided if we had both perspective as well as direction. Some of these tests set us back and undermine our ability to succeed. We’re told that rigors that we endure help define our character through our resiliency and determination. While I agree with that in theory, my core objective will always center around offering my sons guidance that helps them evade pain, penalties or worse. As with most teenagers, they disregard much of what I preach. They’re typical young adults who believe that my messaging is either irrelevant or antiquated. To that point, I am going to offer them my experienced wisdom in an indelible form factor. Perhaps they will read and revisit this as they evolve as men.

Risk – I have always feared failure. Perhaps it’s the potential embarrassment of failing that causes me such anxiety. It could also be that I never wanted to confront my own limitations. Either way, this unfortunate reality has, to date, damaged my ability to achieve some of my personal goals. My advice to my sons is to take calculated gambles early in your lives. Your personal overhead is low, and your financial responsibilities are minimal. Believe in your acquired skills, as well as in your willingness to work. Do what is necessary to make informed decisions. Ignore the cynics as many times they’re simply projecting their own insecurities. Own your choices and learn from the results. Persevere through challenges because almost anything can be overcome.

Emotion – Many times in my life I reacted viscerally to tumultuous situations. Once I was able to attain a perspective, and even if I was right, I regretted my initial reaction as it put me in an ineffective position. My advice is to breathe before responding during contentious circumstances. Clear your mind and remove the personal component associated with heated interactions. Once you do this, you can respond smartly and with composure. This will allow you to effectively handle difficult moments without remorse.

Confidence – Belief in oneself is critical for success in life. Self-worth creates a superhero-like shield. For me, faith in my own abilities is sometimes influenced by others. This predicament is suboptimal and will only lead to personal disappointment. My advice is to never let other opinions dictate your disposition or mindset. Know that you have abilities to be resolute in your convictions. Don’t listen to the noise around you once you have made up your mind to achieve a specific goal.

Grind – Maximum effort usually delivers ideal results. Preparation along with attention to detail ensures that the odds of success are in your favor. My advice is that you take on any important endeavor with passion and grit. Do all the things that most will not do so you increase your chances of achieving your goals. There is a level of personal satisfaction that accompanies winning after expending the maximum amount of energy on a stated task.

Focus – Distractions are routine for all of us. Unfortunately, these diversions undermine our ability to achieve our objectives. My advice is that you ensure that you dedicate 100% of your attention to any job that you have committed to accomplish. Don’t waste time and energy on superfluous diversions. Finish those activities that you are responsible for delivering.  

Friendship – I have been fortunate to create dynamic and profound relationships in my life. My most coveted bonds evolved over time. Trust and honesty are the core principles of these alliances. My advice is that you allow relationships to be earned by those that you deem worthy of your devotion. Be patient and cautious with the individuals that you welcome into your inner circle. A mutual and unbreakable loyalty will occur with those that eventually qualify as a lifelong ally.

Work – Making money while remaining happy with how you create your income represents a real conundrum for most of us. As you age, the financial responsibilities grow, and accountable people must settle for roles that allow them to earn a wage commensurate to their lifestyle.  My advice is that you get over-educated and develop those unique skills that can be utilized throughout your career. If there is a field that piques your interest, volunteer to work for an organization that supports that specific career path. Ask to be mentored by people who are successful in the specific field that interests you. Getting up every day enthused, excited, and impassioned are what all professionals strive to achieve.

Love – It’s hard to protect your heart when you share your innermost feelings with someone. Unfortunately, real devotion can only happen if you take an emotional risk. While it doesn’t feel good to get burned, it’s important to wade through the temporary pain to eventually find the right person to spend the rest of your life with. My advice is that you never compromise. Remain patient until you absolutely know that the person that you ask to be your wife is as committed to you as you are to her.

Persistency – Rejection, defeat and failure are unfortunate facts of life. If you’re determined to succeed, however, strong-minded people usually end up overcoming whatever challenges they’re confronting. My advice is that you write down whatever goals you are committing to accomplishing. If you write down your objectives, it’s difficult to procrastinate or ignore the process. Expect that setbacks will happen, but that they will not thwart your mission. Be relentless and undeterred in your approach and great things will happen.

Grace – Mistakes are a part of life. As you get older, errors keep you up at night.  Unfortunately, self-flagellation accompanies personal blunders.  My advice is that you give yourself a break and recognize that you will get other opportunities to shine. Be self-aware and recognize the specific failure points. Commit to not allowing past breakdowns the opportunity to endure beyond their expiration date. The only way to successfully move forward is to end the personal beatdown, and to recommit to never allowing the error to happen again. Finally, offer the same leniency to others that deserve it. Life is complicated for everyone, so empathy is required.

Ty and Jesse, you both are smart, savvy, and intrepid young men. You’ve proven that you are both mentally tough, having endured demanding, stressful predicaments at a young age. I’ve never witnessed either one of you back down from a challenge, and you both demonstrate resolve when it is required. Your character is unshakable, and that attribute cannot be taken away from either of you.

Family, Hunting

The 225 Mile U Turn

I can recall almost every hunt that Echo and I have experienced over the last 5 years. There are some hunts however that stand out because something remarkable occurs. Most often it is Echo doing something so tremendous that the moment is emblazoned in my mind forever. 

On this cold December day, Echo and I took the long drive to our favorite farm in Wray, Colorado. The plan was to meet up with a good friend and his dog by mid-morning. I know the area well, and I wanted to hunt a piece of land that we had not hit too many times over the last few years. The cows had not been let into both the north and southwest corners, so the cover circling the corn field was dense enough to hold birds. The wind was blowing over 10 mph from the northeast, so we started our walk from the opposite corner. Echo and I took a circuitous route to the end of the southwest corner so we hopefully would catch a pheasant napping. Once we got 20 yards out from the combination of grass and tumbleweeds, Echo started to get birdy. While I knew that we were in business, I was feeling a bit groggy from the long drive. When the rooster busted 15 yards to my right, I struggled to square up to the speedy bird. Two shots later, Echo paused her run as she realized that I had missed. My apology was heard, and we continued our work along the edge of the corn field. Echo will point when a bird freezes, and just moments after my failure, she stopped in her tracks. When she suddenly popped up, it caused the rooster to take flight. One shot of HEVI-METAL #4 knocked the bird out of the air.

With a bird in the vest, we continued our walk north into the next corner. There is tumbleweed filled ditches that surround this part of the field. Many times, the birds will evade our pursuit by carefully navigating these channels. About halfway through the middle of the northwest corner, Echo started to move with a purpose. While no birds took flight, I believed that she was pursuing more than one of the targeted species. As we approached the four rung barbed wire fence that abutted a ditch, Echo elevated into beast mode. Fueled by the scent of our quarry, my dog exploded through the bottom rung, but she caught a buckle of her chest protector on a single barb. That contact caused the entire vest to tear off her body. Once I put the fragments of the material in my pack, we started to work both sides of the ditch heading east. Echo remained hot but were not able to get the runners to fly.

My friend Oneal finally arrived, and he and Marley took the north side of the tree line that paralleled the two ditches we had just been hunting. As we walked west, Echo became excited as the northeast wind told her that birds were still present. Once Echo stopped and turned to our right, a rooster got up from the ditch and flew across the road. My first shot was behind the bird, but my next round knocked the bird to the ground. Unfortunately, the long shot was not lethal, and the speedy cock ran through the ditch and under the first fence. Echo was in full stride as she circumvented the lowest wire. She tore across the northwest corner just a few yards behind the bird. As the pheasant cut left it went under a second and then a third barbed wire fence. Echo tackled the bird, and headed back to me with the rooster in her mouth. After grabbing the bird, I noticed that my hand was covered in blood. It only took a few seconds to realize that Echo’s ear was split in half, and blood was gushing everywhere. It took me 30 minutes to slow the bleeding, and make the decision to head home. Almost 4 hours later, we arrived at the veterinarian, and Echo was stitched up.

This was the first major injury Echo suffered in all of our days spent in the field. Unfortunately, it would not be the last. On our first hunting trip after her ear had healed, Echo tore her knee open at some point during the day. The wounds Echo suffered shook me up. I thought I was prepared for handling my dog’s in-field ordeals. I wasn’t, and I am not sure how I am going improve my veterinarian skills.

Family, Hunting

Cage Ranch

About 100 miles southeast of Denver, Colorado there is a large tract of land that symbolizes the spectacular prairie of the western United States. The property bisects route 94, and rests in an unincorporated village called Wild Horse . For over 70 years, the Cage family has raised cattle on nearly 50,000 acres of sage, yucca and switchgrass. They are responsible land owners as well as astute custodians of this ground. Fortunately, the Cages are kind and generous people who allow some of us to experience their stunning piece of American history.

The first time I visited the Cage Ranch I was awestruck at the incredible size of the property, as well as the many species of animals that call the eastern plains of Colorado their home. While I eventually adapted to the vastness, I will always be captivated by the variety of prairie critters. In the early days, I could not tell where I was without a compass. Additionally, it took me a while to learn how to unlock and relock a barbed wire fence gate. I was appreciative when Bob installed a few cheater-bar-latches around the opening to the pastures that I frequented. Navigating the roads around the ranch took time to learn. My sense of direction is poor when the streets have no names. To that point, the more ranch driving I did, the more comfortable I became transitioning from one pasture to the next. It has taken years, but I can now successfully maneuver without oversight. My attempts at branding calves each spring had the hired cowboys mocking my unrefined methods. I persevered, and I eventually learned how to execute my menial yet fun role. When fall arrived, hunting season started. We harvested our fair share of pronghorn, deer and even an occasional duck.

On January 1, 2021, the Cage Ranch will change hands, and formally end a glorious era. There are so many things that I will miss about the ranch; the long drive from the highway to headquarters. The two golden eagles that always seem to appear when I enter The George pasture. The remarkable sunrises and sunsets that light up the golden grasses.

Bob, thank you for extending yourself beyond our friendship. You gave up your time to teach me about many things ranch related. You rarely mocked me for the many mistakes I made, and you were patient when I asked you the same questions multiple times. As you stated, I will continue to use the many things I learned on the ranch for the rest of my life.

Family

One of the best

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Everyone has demons. All of us spend time battling their evil presence. We work to suppress the disturbing thoughts and emotions that they unearth. These tormentors are unyielding for some, and kept at bay by others. Their persistence can break us down, and put our mind in dark places. They inflict fear, uncertainty and doubt as they painfully whittle away at our soul.

This past week my friend took his life. I don’t know the reasons for his fateful decision, but it was shocking to all of us that love him. He leaves a wonderful family and loyal friends behind. He was a smart, insightful, selfless and thoughtful man. His humor, wittiness and gregarious personality commanded every room that he walked into. If you were dealing with a complex issue, he took time to provide caring analysis and direction. He helped people that were not in a position to help themselves. While he was short in stature, he played life big; never backing down from a difficult situation.

I will miss him. While we did not see one another every day, or even talk regularly, I knew he was accessible. If I showed up to an event, and he was there, everything was better. I can hear his voice in my mind and that is comforting. Three weeks ago, we played golf together. We shared a cart, and talked openly about our lives. He did not demonstrate signs that the demons were gaining an advantage. Unfortunately, the monsters were present, and they were breaking him down. I wish I could have helped him fight them off. Our friendship will continue, and we will see each other again.

Family

Confidence

I admire people who are perennially self-assured. These individuals never appear to suffer from self-doubt. No matter what obstacles or hardships they encounter, they never waiver on how they will attain their goals. I am certain that these folks share commonalities that include thorough preparation, as well as a consistent, positive, mental attitude.

Success in my life, whether it be scholastic, athletic or professional, is always been supported by an unquestioned belief in myself.  Regrettably, my personal dichotomy is also true; individual failure always accompanies perplexing uncertainty. For no-good-reason, I allow negative outside forces to impact the way I perform. At times, the mental toughness necessary to withstand the rigors of life, seemingly disappears. I cannot predict why or when it will happen, but the end result is not ideal.

My oldest son is a fantastic person, student and athlete.  Beyond being a kind, empathetic kid, he works very hard to accomplish his ambitious objectives.  I appreciate his optimistic attitude, as well as his intensely competitive demeanor. Unfortunately, my son is proving to be a mere mortal, as he has been negatively impacted by outside forces. Prior to making his U.S. Development Academy soccer team, Ty’s belief in himself was never higher.  He played every game with focus and ferocity. More talented players never influenced his performance, as he was protected by an unquestioned belief in his ability to succeed. Despite selecting Ty among a sea of talented players, his current coach does not believe in him.  We are not sure when or why the coach dismissed him, but the effect has been obvious. Outside of his current erratic play, the weight of the coach’s disdain has become a burden that extends beyond the pitch.  Ty’s personality has changed to the point that the ongoing predicament has affected his spirit. He is now challenged by the need to remain confident in his skill-set despite the specter of the coach in the back of his mind.

My wife and I know that Ty will overcome this challenge, as it is simply a part of life’s vicissitudes. He will need to believe in himself without any reinforcement or adulation from the coach. The next nine months will test his mind as well has his heart. Ty needs to continue to work hard, and manufacture personal victories with minor achievements. He must separate the happenings on the soccer field from the rest of his life. We will provide Ty guidance and support, but it will be up to him to be resilient in order to withstand this unexplainable test. We have tremendous faith in his ability to navigate through this hardship and ultimately succeed.

  • “All confidence is acquired, developed.  No one is born with confidence.” – David J. Schwartz
  • “We are what we believe we are” – C.S. Lewis
  • “Confidence is the most important single factor in this game, and no matter how great your natural talent, there is only one way to obtain and sustain it: work.” – Jack Nicklaus
  • “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” – Mark Twain
  • “One  important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation.” – Arthur Ashe
  • “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you are right.” – Henry Ford