Category Archives: Family

Family

Youth Sports – Firsthand Experience

On a cold Colorado evening in January of 2020, my then 15-year-old son heard a loud crack inside his right foot during soccer practice. He immediately hobbled off the field in obvious pain. Following days of x-rays and MRIs, Ty was diagnosed with a Freiberg Infraction. The initial two doctors told us that Ty would never play soccer again. We finally found an orthopedic surgeon who told us that he was confident that our son could play again after undergoing a unique surgical procedure. The rehab took months and when he came back to practice in the fall of that year, he struggled to get back into condition. Just weeks into the season, the MLS Next director cut Ty from the team. Obviously, this was devastating for Ty given how hard he had worked to get back on the pitch. Instead of hanging his head, Ty worked hard to regain his form, and to positively impact his new ECNL team.

As parents we often hear the phrase “don’t relive your youth through your children”. While I understand the reasoning behind the statement, it doesn’t accurately capture the altruistic motives of many mothers and fathers. Most of us involve ourselves in our children’s lives to help them avoid the obvious pitfalls associated with growing up. There are so many precarious situations in life that could put someone on an unfortunate path. If an experienced adult has encountered the potential predicament, we owe it to our children to offer an informed opinion. A core tenet of parenting is to help our kids successfully navigate life’s vicissitudes. This doesn’t mean that we ensure they avoid failing as we want them to create both resilience as well as grit. It does mean that the perspective of a seasoned, loving parent is valuable to a child’s growth.  

Recently, I watched a video of Chris Cuomo and Gary “Vee’ Vaynerchuk talking about youth sports and the harm these activities create for families. They go on and on about people that “sacrifice weekend, money and vacations… and the kids never play in college, never go pro…but they’ve spent all this time on them.” Gary jumps in with his Freudian analysis, stating that “too many parents use their children for their own self-esteem”. This viewpoint is asinine, ignorant, and myopic. For most parents, we encourage our children to participate in youth sports for a variety of logical reasons. These motives include health, competitiveness, determination, toughness, as well as comradeship. Children who participate in youth sports learn to be punctual as well as how to manage their time effectively. They are forced to absorb both adulation as well as frequent criticism. Finally, they learn early to establish goals and to work vigorously towards their personal as well as team objectives.

Both of my sons’ soccer journeys began at a very early age. They both have played the sport for many years because of their love for the game, and their thirst for competitiveness. They continue to endure regular emotional swings that require their steadiness during these highly intense, uncomfortable situations. They must contend with a cutthroat environment where fairness is not part of the curriculum. Additionally, they must prioritize what is most important in their lives. This requirement manifests in putting scholastic obligations, work, and training ahead of other responsibilities.

Since they began competitive sports, Ty and Jesse have learned to cope with adult obligations as well as digest constant pressure at an early age. My wife and I are confident that these qualities will pay dividends when they formally become business professionals. Lastly, for many people, the fear of failure can be debilitating. Competitive sports force all who participate to confront and struggle with the difficulties associated with failing. Athletes learn to quickly move on from past transgressions which lets them more quickly overcome future obstacles.

Ultimately, youth sports are not about making it to college or professional ranks. That outcome is a byproduct of talent, hard work, discipline, and a bit of luck. For most kids, sports are about instilling valuable life skills, building character, and most importantly, having fun along the way.

Business, Family

9 Characteristics of a Successful Sales Professional

Recently, I was scrolling on Instagram and landed on a Reels video of a woman sitting in her car talking about how she effectively handles objections in selling situations. She was confident, skilled, and bold. It was obvious that she could successfully rebut even the most challenging of prospect concerns. Almost immediately, I recognized that I might not react as rapidly or as proficiently as this person. Only for a moment, I wondered if I could adopt her practiced and effective techniques. Ultimately, I realized that she and I sell differently, and that I would never utilize her approach to closing business.

I have been, and continue to be, directly involved in complex, competitive, and often emotional B2B sales. There have been great moments in my career, as well as more than a few disappointments. I have been fortunate to work for and with individuals who do it right, and at a high level. These people showed me how to be a high-performing sales professional. Here are some of the key learnings that I have absorbed over the last 30+ years.

  • Conviction: Salespeople must innately believe that the people/processes/technology that they represent will positively change the way their prospective client operates. They must enter every competitive selling situation with the certainty that the prospective client will achieve the desired results from whatever has been proposed. Sellers must know that the solution they endorse will lead to definitive changes with the target client.
  • Authenticity: Sales professionals must listen well. This skill is very challenging for most of us. Sellers must genuinely want to learn about the prospective client and the businesses that they represent. That means that smart, researched questions must be asked at the appropriate time. The salesperson must care about both the trajectory of the engaged business as well as the well-being of the individuals that are involved in the evaluation process.
  • Candor: Honesty is critical to being an effective sales professional. Some people do utilize devious methods to achieve their wins. Most often, these scammers are exposed, and their victories are fleeting. Salespeople must be truthful even if things are not going to work out in your favor. Take the loss and maintain your honor. Life has a unique way of rewarding those who never waver from their moral compass.  
  • Persistence: Smart, timely prospective client interactions are critical for successful selling. A salesperson must utilize a defined and proven methodology for presenting the right information at the right time to engaged prospects. They must be disciplined in how the appropriate messaging is disseminated. Refined relentlessness creates a sense of urgency that most prospective clients appreciate.
  • Trust: Prospective clients must believe in you, your team, and your organization. Successful sales professionals must do what they commit to doing during the sales cycle. That means that salespeople must become an advocate for the client within their organization. If a client encounters a legitimate issue, it is the salesperson’s job to help them solve it. It means that a seller’s mobile phone number becomes a “favorite” of your client. Trust is reciprocal, but the salesperson must earn that connection.
  • Expertise: Sales professionals must know their product/service intimately. If you don’t, find colleagues that do, and ask for help. Coworkers that believe in you as well as your effort will support you. You will learn a lot from these individuals. Don’t be so proud as to fail alone. This means that a salesperson improves their odds of winning an engagement if they earn the right to wrap bright people into the sales process.
  • Relationships: Sales professionals should not expect to become friends with their clients. The objective should be for clients to eventually become their evangelizing advocate. When your client becomes an ally, they will praise you when you are not around. They will proactively refer you to others, because they are committed to your success. It is ideal if a salesperson eventually creates a harmonious bond with employees of their client. That type of alliance must be forged over time.
  • Grind: Anyone who has selected B2B sales as a career path understands that working diligently is critical to achieving ideal outcomes. Grit and focus are traits that every competent salesperson must have as they will be faced with challenges at every turn. Do what is required of you and then do a bit more. Most prospective clients appreciate hard work and timely, thorough communication.
  • Resourcefulness: Successful selling remains the sole responsibility of the individual assigned to the task. While a proficient sales professional relies on others to guarantee positive outcomes, ultimately, the individual contributor is responsible for guiding their company to wins. Salespeople must decipher each challenging interaction by any means necessary. They must use their imagination as well as every resource available to overcome complex issues and ultimately be victorious.

A successful career as a sales professional is one that involves both financial as well personal rewards. “Nothing happens until a sale is made” is a phrase that has and will ring true for every thriving business. There are different selling styles that are proven effective, and they should be incorporated if the practice comes naturally. While the sales methods deployed will vary, the characteristics described above will ensure a long and productive career.

Family, Hunting

The One

For over 30,000 years, humans have loved dogs. Domesticated canines are loyal, caring, and compassionate friends. For those of us that hunt with their dogs, the relationship between owner and their pups is profoundly unique. The symbiosis is obvious; we count on them to help improve our odds of success, and they expect that we will fulfill our responsibilities in the joint pursuit of the target prey. Their excitement, effort, and determination inspire us to deliver on the unstated objective.

Echo turned 9 in December. Age has brought on a few health issues that have challenged some of her natural abilities. Like most any gundog, her drive as well as the adrenaline brought on by doing what we love to do, keeps the chronic symptoms at bay. Despite our advanced ages and minor physical challenges, we still hunt hard.

Echo and I have been teamed together for a long time. We’ve experienced tremendous successes as well as unexpected adversities. She always remains positive and continues to be relentless despite my annual shooting slumps. For that fact, I am forever grateful. It is not easy to look her in the eyes after whiffing on a bird that she spent so much energy locating. While I feel both guilty and miserable, Echo quickly moves onto the next chase.  

It is hard for me to effectively articulate what Echo means to me. My life is better because she is in it. She seems to understand how much I love her. During our hunts, she will unexpectedly leap in the air to give me a kiss. I feel that this is a sign that she is pleased and focused on the work that has yet to be done.

I don’t know how many more adventures that Echo and I will experience together. I will not push her to continue to hunt if her body will not tolerate the physical exertion. It is important to me that I retire her before she demonstrates any signs of despair. I am hopeful that we have at least one more season together. I cannot imagine ever leaving her behind.

Family

Fortunate

The last 5 years underscored the fact that life is both short as well as fragile. Unfortunately, some of my contemporaries unexpectedly succumbed to a variety of different types of ailments that took them from the physical world. Most battled to remain alive, while others voluntarily perished. It has been difficult for me to witness these heartbreaking circumstances. Life is always challenging but adding disease or psychosis to the equation makes for a brutally difficult existence. As a believer in preventative medicine, I consistently employ healthy habits that should improve my ability to continue living. While there are no guarantees, I want to give myself the best chance to continue to evolve. Given what I have recently witnessed, however, I recognize that remaining alive is tricky. To that point, while I continue to walk amongst the masses, I want to offer an expression of gratitude to those people that positively influence my life.

To my wife, thank you for the love and support over the last 22 years. Our journey has been filled with great times as well as unexpected trials and tribulations. We battle adversity together. Your integrity, composure, and practicality keep me grounded.  

To my sons Ty and Jesse, you are both humble, kind, empathetic, smart, and brave. The greatest blessing in my life is being your dad. You both possess great character and immaculate souls. The future is bright for both of you. I admire who you are now, as well as the men that you are becoming.

To my parents, thank you for teaching me about honor, compassion, discipline, tenacity, and grit. I learned the fundamental principles of my life from both of you.

To my friends, thank you all for the bond we created. Navigating life with righteous, insightful, trustworthy, and loyal allies is something that I value. It’s a privilege to earn relationships that are not blood affiliated.

Lastly, I rarely contemplate how I want to be remembered after I am gone. There is a bit of narcissism associated with this type of thinking. As I get older, however, I do hope that the most important people in my life reflect positively on our time together. I would like those closest to me to remember me as honest, loyal, caring, and dependable. I also hope that they recognize the unfettered, genuine love that I have for them.

I don’t plan on going anywhere soon, and I hope to meet other great human beings that positively impact my life.

Family

Learn From This Mistake

As parents, we want our children to successfully navigate life’s vicissitudes. Throughout our lives, we faced many challenges that could have been avoided if we had both perspective as well as direction. Some of these tests set us back and undermine our ability to succeed. We’re told that rigors that we endure help define our character through our resiliency and determination. While I agree with that in theory, my core objective will always center around offering my sons guidance that helps them evade pain, penalties or worse. As with most teenagers, they disregard much of what I preach. They’re typical young adults who believe that my messaging is either irrelevant or antiquated. To that point, I am going to offer them my experienced wisdom in an indelible form factor. Perhaps they will read and revisit this as they evolve as men.

Risk – I have always feared failure. Perhaps it’s the potential embarrassment of failing that causes me such anxiety. It could also be that I never wanted to confront my own limitations. Either way, this unfortunate reality has, to date, damaged my ability to achieve some of my personal goals. My advice to my sons is to take calculated gambles early in your lives. Your personal overhead is low, and your financial responsibilities are minimal. Believe in your acquired skills, as well as in your willingness to work. Do what is necessary to make informed decisions. Ignore the cynics as many times they’re simply projecting their own insecurities. Own your choices and learn from the results. Persevere through challenges because almost anything can be overcome.

Emotion – Many times in my life I reacted viscerally to tumultuous situations. Once I was able to attain a perspective, and even if I was right, I regretted my initial reaction as it put me in an ineffective position. My advice is to breathe before responding during contentious circumstances. Clear your mind and remove the personal component associated with heated interactions. Once you do this, you can respond smartly and with composure. This will allow you to effectively handle difficult moments without remorse.

Confidence – Belief in oneself is critical for success in life. Self-worth creates a superhero-like shield. For me, faith in my own abilities is sometimes influenced by others. This predicament is suboptimal and will only lead to personal disappointment. My advice is to never let other opinions dictate your disposition or mindset. Know that you have abilities to be resolute in your convictions. Don’t listen to the noise around you once you have made up your mind to achieve a specific goal.

Grind – Maximum effort usually delivers ideal results. Preparation along with attention to detail ensures that the odds of success are in your favor. My advice is that you take on any important endeavor with passion and grit. Do all the things that most will not do so you increase your chances of achieving your goals. There is a level of personal satisfaction that accompanies winning after expending the maximum amount of energy on a stated task.

Focus – Distractions are routine for all of us. Unfortunately, these diversions undermine our ability to achieve our objectives. My advice is that you ensure that you dedicate 100% of your attention to any job that you have committed to accomplish. Don’t waste time and energy on superfluous diversions. Finish those activities that you are responsible for delivering.  

Friendship – I have been fortunate to create dynamic and profound relationships in my life. My most coveted bonds evolved over time. Trust and honesty are the core principles of these alliances. My advice is that you allow relationships to be earned by those that you deem worthy of your devotion. Be patient and cautious with the individuals that you welcome into your inner circle. A mutual and unbreakable loyalty will occur with those that eventually qualify as a lifelong ally.

Work – Making money while remaining happy with how you create your income represents a real conundrum for most of us. As you age, the financial responsibilities grow, and accountable people must settle for roles that allow them to earn a wage commensurate to their lifestyle.  My advice is that you get over-educated and develop those unique skills that can be utilized throughout your career. If there is a field that piques your interest, volunteer to work for an organization that supports that specific career path. Ask to be mentored by people who are successful in the specific field that interests you. Getting up every day enthused, excited, and impassioned are what all professionals strive to achieve.

Love – It’s hard to protect your heart when you share your innermost feelings with someone. Unfortunately, real devotion can only happen if you take an emotional risk. While it doesn’t feel good to get burned, it’s important to wade through the temporary pain to eventually find the right person to spend the rest of your life with. My advice is that you never compromise. Remain patient until you absolutely know that the person that you ask to be your wife is as committed to you as you are to her.

Persistency – Rejection, defeat and failure are unfortunate facts of life. If you’re determined to succeed, however, strong-minded people usually end up overcoming whatever challenges they’re confronting. My advice is that you write down whatever goals you are committing to accomplishing. If you write down your objectives, it’s difficult to procrastinate or ignore the process. Expect that setbacks will happen, but that they will not thwart your mission. Be relentless and undeterred in your approach and great things will happen.

Grace – Mistakes are a part of life. As you get older, errors keep you up at night.  Unfortunately, self-flagellation accompanies personal blunders.  My advice is that you give yourself a break and recognize that you will get other opportunities to shine. Be self-aware and recognize the specific failure points. Commit to not allowing past breakdowns the opportunity to endure beyond their expiration date. The only way to successfully move forward is to end the personal beatdown, and to recommit to never allowing the error to happen again. Finally, offer the same leniency to others that deserve it. Life is complicated for everyone, so empathy is required.

Ty and Jesse, you both are smart, savvy, and intrepid young men. You’ve proven that you are both mentally tough, having endured demanding, stressful predicaments at a young age. I’ve never witnessed either one of you back down from a challenge, and you both demonstrate resolve when it is required. Your character is unshakable, and that attribute cannot be taken away from either of you.