I clearly remember the day when my wife and I were told we were going to have a second son. Immediate visions of coaching two lacrosse players flashed through my mind. I was so inspired that I went out that day and purchased two Super Toss Mini Sticks.  I remember handing a stick to my two-year-old then helping him cradle the small ball. As the boys got older we introduced them to baseball, basketball and karate.  What I never anticipated was that Ty and Jesse would develop a real passion for soccer. Over the last 8 years, my family has been immersed in futbal.   We spend an inordinate amount of time in and around soccer fields.  I actually attend MLS games while regularly watching the English Premier League. Here are some phrases that I never thought I would say:

1. “It looks like a new formation today”
2. “What a hard touch”
3. “Phenomenal through-ball”
4. “What time do you need to be on the pitch”
5. “He executed a perfect overlap”
6. “That goal was upper 90”
7. “We lost on the scoreboard, but we out-possessed them”

While I admit to my new affection for the game, I still struggle embracing certain parts of the sport.

1. Flopping – Despite the common misconception, soccer is a physical game. Unfortunately, there is a large subsection of players that regularly perform unnecessary histrionics when they are involved in a physical confrontation on the field.  Early in their development, some players recognize that they can earn an advantage if they end up writhing on the ground after a tackle.  These athletes demonstrate a lack of integrity, and they bring shame to the Beautiful Game.  Players should hold each other accountable for these duplicitous actions.  If that does not work, leagues should take punitive action against recidivists.
2. Celebrating – Generally speaking, when an athlete generates points for their team, they celebrate the accomplishment with their teammates. When a soccer player scores a goal, however, they subsequently perform some narcissistic act like ripping their jersey off while running away from their fellow players (see Zlatan). My suggestion to all players; when you’re involved in a scoring play, find your teammates quickly, and then thank them for their support.
3. Injuries – The game is far more combative than I ever expected. Unless a player has had a limb torn off via a hard tackle, please keep the stretcher in the ambulance.  Injured players should be encouraged to get up off the ground and walk off the field.
4. Fouls – Soccer games are low scoring. Awarding a penalty shot for a foul in the box is extremely punitive.  Officials should have the ability to assess the severity of the violation, and then designate the appropriate consequences.  If the violation does not impact a direct scoring play, the punishment should be mitigated accordingly.
5. Substitution – Players should be able to come in and out of the game. Injuries happen, and managers should have the flexibly to swap out players during a game.
6. Offside – I don’t know how officials accurately track the release of the ball as well as the movement of the attacking players. The game moves quickly, and an imprecise offside call can be devastating in a low scoring match.  The rule needs to be modernized to reflect the speed of the game.

Candidly, I hope both boys continue to play the sport they love as I enjoy watching them.